A Christmas Letter To You
You might be reading this on Christmas Eve feeling calm, surrounded by people you love, with a sense that things are steady and warm and more or less as they…
Christmas is presented as the happiest time of the year — all connection, celebration, and cosy warmth.
But for a huge number of adults (and yes, I am very much including myself), it can also be the most emotionally demanding month on the calendar. The pressure to feel joyful, keep everyone else happy, and create something “magical” can turn December into a month of internal chaos.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed during the Christmas season, there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, your nervous system is doing exactly what it has learned to do to keep you safe.
To understand why that happens, imagine your inner world like a snow globe.
When life is calm, the snow settles.
The water is clear. You can see what matters. There’s a sense of predictability and safety — almost like you’re starring in your own peaceful Christmas advert.
But when something shakes you – even something tiny – everything starts swirling.
And at Christmas, that shaking might be:
Suddenly your inner world becomes much harder to make sense of.
Thoughts speed up.
Emotions intensify.
Your body reacts like someone has set off an emotional fire alarm.
The snow inside your globe is everywhere.
This is stress and anxiety – not weakness, and definitely not a sign of failure.
(Though it would be great if our brains sent us an email warning first.)
At Christmas, several stressors arrive at the same time – like uninvited guests who all brought their own emotional baggage.
Even when nothing “big” goes wrong, the build-up of tiny things -hundreds of little shakes – can push the system into overload.
That’s why people often say:
“I don’t know why I’m upset… I should be happy.”
There is no should.
Your mind and body are responding to pressure, emotion, and responsibility — not the date.calendar date.
If you’re already sensitive, overloaded, or exhausted, your nervous system is wobbling like jelly.
Add the pressure to “stay calm and festive,” and things can tip quickly.
This can lead to:
But you’re not failing.
It’s biology – just extremely inconvenient biology.
Your system is trying to protect you, even if it feels like it’s doing the emotional equivalent of setting off fireworks indoors.
Many people come to therapy hoping to eliminate stress or painful feelings entirely.
But life will always shake the snow globe sometimes.
Therapy isn’t about becoming unshakeable.
It’s about having the steadiness to come back to yourself more easily.
Therapy helps you:
Over time, the snow settles faster.
The shaking doesn’t undo you.
You start to trust your ability to cope – even in December.
If you’re overwhelmed this year, it doesn’t mean:
It means your nervous system is carrying a lot – and it deserves care, not criticism. Santa’s bringing you a mug of hot chocolate, a warm blanket, and your favourite nibbles – as long as you leave out the Mince Pies and biscuits!
This blog is the first in a Christmas series on staying emotionally grounded when life feels chaotic. Each post will explore a different situation, – family dynamics, grief, loneliness, burnout, perfectionism and more – and offer gentle coping tools tailored to each theme. At the end of the series, I’ll bring all the strategies together in one place so you’ll have a free “calm toolkit” you can return to whenever you need it.
Now, you can move on to Part 2 with tips to make it through the season…
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