In our sessions, there’s space for both of you.
That might sound obvious, but in day-to-day life it can be hard to feel heard, especially when emotions are running high or when you’ve both been carrying things for a long time.
My role isn’t to take sides or decide who is right or wrong. Instead, I help you slow things down and really hear each other, often in ways that haven’t quite been possible before.
Sometimes that means untangling misunderstandings.
Sometimes it means saying things out loud that have been sitting underneath for a while.
And sometimes it’s about making sense of why certain patterns keep repeating.
At the heart of my work is the belief that you both already have a sense of what matters, even if it feels lost right now.
I won’t push you in a particular direction or tell you what you should do. Instead, I’ll work alongside you, helping you make sense of what’s happening between you and what each of you needs.
At the same time, I do gently draw on my experience of how relationships work. That might include looking at how past experiences shape the way we respond to each other, or how we protect ourselves when something feels difficult or overwhelming.
But I keep things grounded and human. You won’t be given labels or made to feel analysed. The focus stays on you, your relationship, and what feels important.
When I work with couples, I usually start by meeting each of you on your own for one session.
This can make it easier to speak freely about how things have been for you, without having to hold anything back or worry about how it might be heard in the moment.
It also helps me understand each of your perspectives more fully, so that when we come together, I can support both of you in a more balanced way.
After that, we move into sessions together.
Living with a long-term or chronic condition can affect both people in a relationship, even if only one of you has the diagnosis.
There can be changes in roles, independence, intimacy, and day-to-day life. One of you might feel like a carer at times. The other might feel guilt, frustration, or a sense of loss for how things used to be.
You might find yourselves adjusting in ways you never expected, and not always at the same pace. What feels manageable for one of you might feel overwhelming for the other. It can be hard to know how to support each other without getting it wrong.
Sometimes things go unsaid. You might be trying to protect each other, or avoid adding to the pressure, but that can leave both of you feeling alone in it.
It’s not always easy to talk about these things with each other, especially when you’re both trying to cope in your own way.
Counselling can give you space to be honest about how it’s really affecting you, and to find a way of being alongside each other that feels more manageable and more connected.
It can also help you find a way of moving forward that takes both of you into account, rather than one of you feeling like you have to carry more than your share.
Trying for a baby doesn’t always go the way people hope.
Fertility challenges, miscarriage, and difficult birth experiences can place a huge emotional strain on a relationship. You might find that you cope in very different ways, or that it’s hard to understand each other’s reactions.
There can be grief, uncertainty, and a sense of things being out of your control. You might be dealing with repeated disappointment, or holding hope alongside fear. It can be exhausting, both emotionally and physically.
One of you might want to talk, while the other finds it too painful. One might feel the loss in a very physical way, while the other feels unsure how to help.
You might also find yourselves trying to protect each other, holding things in rather than adding to what already feels heavy. Over time, that can create distance, even when you’re both hurting.
It can feel lonely, even when you’re going through it together.
In counselling, there’s space for both of your experiences. You don’t have to present a united front or protect each other from how you’re really feeling. We can gently make room for what’s there, and help you feel more together in it.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel about any of this. The aim isn’t to fix it, but to help you feel less alone in it, and to find a way of being alongside each other that feels a little steadier.
For many couples, it’s not one big issue, but the way things are said, or not said, over time.
Conversations can turn into arguments quickly, or stop altogether. You might find yourselves going round in circles, having the same disagreements without anything really changing. Or perhaps things feel quieter than they used to, but not in a comfortable way.
It’s common for one of you to feel unheard, while the other feels criticised or misunderstood. Over time, this can create distance, even when you both still care deeply about the relationship.
In counselling, we slow things down.
That might mean looking at how you speak to each other, but also what’s underneath that. Often, it’s not just about the words being used, but the feelings behind them. Feeling hurt, not valued, or unsure how to say what you really need.
We create space for both of you to express yourselves in a way that can actually be heard, without it immediately turning into conflict or withdrawal.
From there, we can begin to understand each other differently, and find ways of communicating that feel clearer, calmer, and more connected.
Some couples come with a clear idea of what they want to work on. Others just know that something isn’t working, but can’t quite put it into words yet.
Both are completely okay.
You don’t need to prepare anything or get it “right”. We start wherever you are, and take it from there.
If you’re considering couples counselling, you’re very welcome to get in touch.
I offer a free introductory call, which gives you both a chance to ask any questions and get a feel for whether working together feels like the right fit.
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